Friday, August 26, 2005

Which came first, the Sucker or the Con Man?

I have often reflected on a childhood memory, searching endlessly for its true meaning.
I wonder---is there any substance to these events, or was it merely a bit of childhood fun? Perhaps you can help me out... (Laura, your input will be kindly excluded, since you are not an impartial party.)
When I was a kid, let's say somewhere between 6-10 years of age, I would often walk to the corner store with my sister, who was a year and a half older than I. We usually traveled together discussing the items that we would buy with our $4 or so, the money that we had earned from chores or what have you. When we got to the store we would go our separate ways. I would look at balls, color books, toys, etc. and a little while later I would meet up with my sister, who was without fail always in the candy isle, contemplating which sweets, exactly, should be her "inventory" for the week. She would eventually pick her items and we would head home with our new treats.
As soon as we got home my sister would lock herself in our "playroom" (playroom=the room my mother had given up on and allowed us to make into a den of trinkets and toys) and would begin setting up shop. I was not allowed in. I was instructed to wait outside until further notice. I eagerly awaited the opening of my sister's makeshift store, wondering what she would come up with this time. A little later, perhaps 30 minutes or so, my sister would throw the sliding door to the playroom open, revealing a piano bench full of chocolates and sweets---all donning a rather hefty "price tag" scratched out on a piece of notebook paper with a crayon. I would scan the merchandise, pick out what exactly I wanted, then I would run frantically around the house, overturning couch cushions and rummaging through drawers searching for the necessary coins to meet her asking price. I knew I had to have the exact amount. Shopkeep Laura was a stickler for prices. And unfortunately for me, the price was usually about 50% more than it would have been if I had just bought the damn candy bar at the store myself.
So, like a frenzied junkie, I did this for days on end, searching and begging for quarters and dimes and the occasional nickel, until I had purchased each and every candy bar the Shopkeep Stickler had to offer. Then, and only then, was I truly satisfied.
If this were a one time fluke, I don't think I would be so concerned about what this could or couldn't mean. But unfortunately, it was not a one time thing. Time after time Laura peddled her stuff, and I always gave in to her tyrranous candy-selling reign. No questions. No resistance. Just silent acquiescence to her immoral and unjust enterprise.
I know this might be asking a lot-- having to delve into my psyche and perhaps ask some probing questions, but truly, I need to know. Why oh why would I do such a thing?

11 comments:

Mary said...

I'd have to say the Con Man came first. But on to your real question:

Maybe it was more fun to buy candy from the playroom, and from your sister, than it was to buy it from the store.

Maybe it didn't occur to you, at such an impressionable age, that your sister had inflated the prices from normal retail standard.

Maybe you wanted to make your sister happy, and play in the game.

Maybe you liked digging for change in the couch cushions.

Maybe you have no self esteem.

Maybe you want to be take advantage of.

Maybe you have a martyr complex, and take strange pleasure in being a victim.

Maybe you need counseling.

Maybe you should rock yourself in a corner and sing yourself a nursery rhyme?

Maybe I should just shut up now.

Hobo said...

HAAAAAAAA! oh man. those were the days. i can't help that you're still bitter about you being suckered into my candy selling schemes.
look manda, a girl's gotta survive. i needed the cash. you know living off cabbage water wasn't doing it for us. why, that change i made got me a loaf of bread. don't you remember how i shared it with the family? we had a real banquet.
sincerely
charlie

nanni said...

That is hilarious.

And maybe by purchasing the candy from your sister, you got both the stuff you wanted from the store AND the candy (even if it was at inflated prices). So you kinda won out in the end...maybe

Amanda and McKay said...

So, since I need therapy due to this horrendous trauma, do you think I should take my meiserly sister with me, or would that be counter-productive?

Hobo said...

i refuse.

nanni said...

Don't take her with you, but try to get her to split the bill!

Mary said...

I think you should take Miser Hobo with you. I think you should tearfully pull out, one by one, all the old candy bars you bought from her and say:

"I...cccan't...lletit...goooooo!!!"

Then she's feel real bad and stuff so.

Hobo said...

i refuse.

Mary said...

Maybe LeLe won't remember this, but I used to make her clean my room otherwise I'd tell the monster in my closet to eat her up.

I'd even go in there, shut the door, and start you know pretending to appease the monster by assuring him that LeLe was in fact cleaning my room. I'd have a full on conversation, portraying both myself and the monster.

She only fell for it like twice. She's a smartie.

Amanda and McKay said...

I think I'll contact Dr. Phil. he's a respectable therapist, what with expoiting his "clients" and their problems to millions of viewers each week and concluding each 50 minute session (plus a few commercial breaks) with a plug for his latest and greatest "let me state the obvious and claim it's therapy" book.
I think he can help.

Amanda and McKay said...

PS. Mary, I think the reason Laura turned out to be a heartless beast at such an early age is because of you.
You, alright?! She learned it by watching you!!